beans.lyrical.plight.: 2011

1/15/2011

chris paul honors grandfather with 61 points :)

happy birthday.

"A man who won't die for something

is not fit to live."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

it's 4am & i can't sleep................

my eyelids are heavy.
but my mind is running rampant,
won't slow up long enough
for death's cousin to catch it.......

i don't know why
i seem to come alive
at night.
sunlight allows me to roam,
but darkness allows me to
reflect...........

the moon & i connect.

she is my energy,
i am her pupil....
she takes my mind higher,

until it dwells in a
parallel space.
finally free from the
consumption
it suffers during day.......

i guess i'll wait
for sunrise.

how high.

i miss music is all.

change,

paradoxically,
the only thing that stays the same
forever.

cemented
uncertainties.

i wish
to wallow
in a realm
of stability,

something has to stay.

but the only
concrete entity
in the world

is
change.

1/06/2011

imaginethat.

i dreamt this,
i'm surprised i remember it.

i imagined i was high. i'm not sure off what.
perhaps weed. maybe something stronger.
i was in an elevator, and someone asks,
"bean, what do you feel like?"

i say:

faceless...
shapeless..

nameless,
shameless...

painless.

but also afraid cuz'
this feeling
is but
temporary.

and soon i will
return to that space
of destitution i tried
so desperately to escape,

in the first place" .....

i spoke slow,
as if words could somehow
lose effect, or even their
meaning if i wasn't gentle with them.
i'm not sure if it was
me in the dream...
or someone with my face
as a place keeper of sorts.

i never remember dreams,
they always seem to retract
back into imagination at my
futile attempts of recollection.

i wonder what that means.